


Don't you cry no more

by jenkies81



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Season/Series 15, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Canon Rewrite, Canonical Character Death, Castiel in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, F/M, Fix-It, Hurt Sam Winchester, M/M, Post-Canon Fix-It, Season/Series 15, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:27:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28758813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenkies81/pseuds/jenkies81
Summary: Life isn't the same now that Sam is alone. How can he go on without his family?Finale fix-it. People come back.Want to be friends and talk about how much you love deancas and hate the finale?Want to gossip about the actors even though we don't know them, but everyone loves hot goss?Want to trade fic ideas?I'm on twitter @jenkies812
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Kudos: 18





	Don't you cry no more

Sam was supposed to spend the rest of his life with his big brother. They were supposed to fight together, live together, die together. That was always the plan. They’d go out in a blaze of glory. Their story began together. It was meant to end that way, too. But Dean said to let him go. Dean asked him to let him die and this time, let it be final.

He must have been tired. Sam was tired too, but he’d never thrown himself into the job like Dean did. Dean wasn’t just tired. He had nothing left to give. The job took everything from him, including Cas.

Sam watched the fire burn and consume his brother’s body. He had every intention of honoring his brother’s last wish. Dean deserved rest. He deserved Heaven and so much more.

Dean’s body burned for three days. Sam kept vigil by the pyre. How many people had they lost; how many had he lost? Dean wasn’t supposed to be one of those people.

Sam sat on the ground hugging his knees to his chest. He was alone. Dean, Cas, Eileen, Mary, John, Bobby; the list went on and Sam knew he’d have to accept his fate.

He wiped the tears from his cheeks. Dean would be nothing but ashes soon and Sam would have to find a way to go on alone.

Dean lived for the job. Sam didn’t know what he lived for. Maybe for Dean. Maybe for family. Maybe for hope that one day he could have a normal life. It was all he’d wanted since John gave him his first shotgun.

Another day went by and Sam emerged from camping spot in the Impala. The embers burned low and smoldered. It was a good spot, not far from the bunker. But Sam wasn’t going to leave Dean’s ashes there.

He waited a while longer and shoveled some of the remains into an urn. The rest he spread evenly throughout the dirt. He’d plant a garden there. Hopefully it would attract bees. Dean would have liked that.

He picked up the urn and carried it close to his chest. He returned the Impala to the garage and for the first time since Dean’s death, entered the bunker. He didn’t make it far before collapsing in a heap in the kitchen. He held the urn as tight as he could.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I can’t do this by myself.”

If he’d known, when Dean came to kidnap him from college, that he’d only have 15 years left with him, he’d have done things differently. Less fighting over stupid shit, more pie, more movie nights and drunken shenanigans.

His heart had been broken so many times it was no surprise that losing Dean was the last crack to make it crumble completely.

But Dean wasn’t gone. He needed to remember that. Dean was in his Heaven. Dean could rest now, and Sam hoped he was happy.

He forced himself to get up. Vision blurry from crying he made his way to his room. He fell onto his bed. Dean asked him to let him go. He specifically asked. If Sam brought him back it would be selfish. He knew that.

He looked at the urn sitting on this bedside table. He felt like a child again. There were times when Dean and John went off on hunts together. The only family he had would be gone and he’d worry himself to the point of throwing up that they were never coming back.

They always came back though. He closed his eyes and hugged his arms close to his chest.

Time was supposed to heal all wounds. Maybe it would heal this one as well.

***

Sam limped back to the Impala from the museum. It should have been a simple salt and burn but he made a stupid mistake and ended up getting pushed down a flight of stairs. He sat behind the wheel and drove home. Hunting was empty without Dean. He drove in silence. Music was too much; too painful. Every song was either one that reminded him of Dean or one he knew Dean would hate.

He arrived at the bunker and went straight to bed. He kicked his shoes off and cocooned himself under his blanket. He thought hunting would help; getting back into his old routine, but it just reminded him of how alone he was.

Sam had experienced heartbreak before. It was almost second nature. But this felt different. Dean’s last words haunted him. He wanted to die. He wanted to leave.

Sam squeezed his eyes shut to stop himself from crying again.

“I can’t do this,” he whispered. “I need him. I know it’s selfish. I don’t care. He’s my brother and my best friend. I need him back.”

It wasn’t meant to be a prayer. It wasn’t meant to be anything. It was just Sam talking to himself; an empty whisper in an empty room in an empty home. He fell asleep with tears brimming beneath his eyelashes.

Hours later he woke up to the sound of someone calling his name. A woman. He jumped out of bed, grabbed his gun and threw open the door to his room.

Eileen stood in the hall. She held her hands up when she saw the gun.

“Don’t shoot,” she said.

Sam dropped the gun and ran to her. He wrapped her in his arms and kissed her, deep and desperate. They held each other for a long time and when they parted there were tears in their eyes.

“I missed you so much,” said Sam.

“I missed you too,” said Eileen. “Heaven was lonely without you.”

“How are you back?”

“Jack,” she answered. “He came to me and asked if I would return. I didn’t even have to think about it. I said yes and here I am.”

Sam pulled her into another hug and sent a quiet thank you to Jack.

Eileen looked up at him. “Where is Dean?”

“He didn’t make it,” answered Sam. “He’s somewhere in Heaven, I think. I hope.”

“And Cas?” 

Sam shook his head. “I don’t know.”

“You’ve been here alone?”

Sam nodded.

Eileen cupped his cheek. “I’m sorry. I wish I could have been there for you when Dean—when he moved on.”

“I was ok.”

“You don’t look ok.”

Sam frowned.

“You’ve got circles under your eyes and I’ve never seen you with this much of a beard, and you’re limping.”

“I kind of took a tumble during a hunt. I’m ok though.”

Eileen kissed him again.

“Are you hungry?” he asked. “Resurrection always makes me hungry.”

Eileen laughed and nodded. “I’d kill for a cheeseburger.”

“I know just the place,” said Sam.

***

Dean was sitting on the porch with Bobby. No hunts, no monsters, no end of the world to worry about. It was peaceful and a little boring. But he wasn’t going to complain. It was a beautiful Heaven.

“Dean?”

He looked up and saw Jack standing on the grass in front of them.

“Hey kid,” said Bobby.

“Hello,” answered Jack.

“What’s up?” asked Dean.

“I’m sorry,” he answered, “but you’re needed back on earth.”

“Why?” asked Dean.

“Sam. He’s prayed for you every night.”

“He’ll be ok,” said Dean.

“I gave him Eileen back,” said Jack, “but it’s not enough. He needs you. Earth needs you. I’ve let you rest here for long enough. You have unfinished business.”

“Jack, I can’t go back. I don’t—”

Dean didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence before Jack snapped his fingers. He found himself standing in a field not far from the bunker.

“Hello, Dean.”

He spun around.

Cas was standing near him, hands by his sides, head tilted to one side.

Dean ran to him and threw his arms around him. “I thought you were gone,” he said.

“I was. Jack brought me back. He said I had unfinished business.”

“He told me the same thing.” He cupped his hands around Cas’ cheeks. “You said you loved me.”

Cas bit his lip. “I did. I do.”

“You said the one thing you want is the one thing you can never have.”

Cas’ eyes started to water. “That’s true.”

“You idiot.” Dean kissed him, almost crushing their faces together. “I love you, too.”

“But you like women,” said Cas.

“I like people, not bodies,” answered Dean. “I didn’t know how much I loved you until you were gone, but Cas, you’re everything to me.”

Cas placed his hand over Dean’s and kissed his palm. “You’re everything to me, too.”

Dean kissed Cas again. He pulled him into his body and kissed him deeper than before.

Cas stumbled backwards and a small, muffled cry escaped his lips.

Dean slipped his tongue into his mouth. He braced himself so that Cas was completely supported by him. He had one arm around his waist and the other around his neck.

Cas clung to him, melting against him.

“You know,” said Cas, “we have people waiting on us.”

“They don’t know we’re coming.”

“It still seems cruel to drag it out.”

“Fine, we’ll go in. But for the record, I’d rather stay here and make out with you.”

“I’d prefer that as well, but I feel guilty making Sam and Eileen wait.”

“Yeah,” said Dean, “good point.”

They walked to the bunker hand in hand. Dean knocked on the door.

After a few minutes the door opened and Sam and Eileen stood on the other side. Sam didn’t even hesitate when he saw Dean. He threw his arms around him and hugged him. “I missed you,” he said.

“I missed you too, Sammy,” said Dean. “Are you going to give me the tests?”

“Step inside,” answered Sam.

Dean and Cas entered the bunker.

Sam pointed to the ceiling. “Devil’s trap,” he said.

He pointed to a small rod laying in the doorway. Cas and Dean had both stepped over it without noticing.

“Filled with salt,” said Sam.

“What about the silver test?”

“I don’t need it,” answered Sam. “If you’re not a demon, you’d have to be something with shape-shifting abilities and you’d have to know me and you pretty well to keep up the disguise. That and I’m not really worried about anything coming back as you.”

“Why not?”

“It would get back to you and you’d resurrect out of spite or rage.”

“That does sound like something I’d do.”

Eileen pointed to where Cas and Dean were holding hands. “What’s that about?” she asked.

“Dean finally took his head out of his ass,” answered Sam. He spoke and signed at the same time.

“Team Freewill back together, huh?”

“We’re missing Jack,” said Sam.

“He’s here,” said Cas. “I can feel him watching.”

“What do we do now?” asked Eileen.

Dean grinned. “Whatever the hell we want.”

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment if you enjoyed the story! 
> 
> And seriously...at me...I need friends


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